It's taken me some time to realize that I am a good mother. It's okay to say that. I truly don't think believe it's bragging. Every day is something new. I am a working mom who loves her two kids! Hopefully one day, a third will be in the picture. Being a mom changes you. It isn't in a bad way! It makes you grow up. You think you're fully grown until you have a baby! I sincerely didn't think I was that selfish until I had my first baby. It made me realize just how selfish my life was. I'm definitely not saying that if you can't or don't want kids, you are selfish. NO. I am saying you become even more grown up or aware after having them. Having kids made me see a different side of me. I have learned so much, and I'm only three years into it. I'm sure I have so much more to learn about myself and about life.
I appreciate life so much more. Don't get me wrong, there are some days that just need to end, but every day is time I get to teach my kids. If you're a parent, you are constantly teaching them. How? Because they are watching you! I can see Kinslee repeating me (good and bad) and it's kind of scary I have someone watching and observing me so close! It makes me want to be a good person. She has caught on to moods, discipline, and body language. If I grumble under my breath, she grumbles under her breath. That's not really the stuff I paid attention to until now. Coy has brought it up, and I maaaaaaaaay have brushed it off, thinking, "but that's me!" No, he was right all along because now our daughter does what I do.
I get up at 4:30am every morning to get ready all alone. I pack both kids bags and lunches, pack the car, get milk, bottle, jackets, clothes, and shoes laid out. I wake up Kinslee and hold her a minute as she's not a morning person! We brush her teeth, get dressed (10 minute affair), and get her blankie, kitty, and milk. Once she is settled, I get Chase up. He's usually already up and talks to himself for a while. He tickle and play with him on the changing pad for a bit before changing him. Putting on his hat, and grabbing anything last minute I may need (COFFEE), we head out the door. I drop them off and physically already tired by the time I'm at the school by 7:30-7:40 depending on Kinslee's mood. One morning, I walked in on throw-up everywhere, but that's another story. School is a paragraph all in it's own, but after teaching for 20 minutes and babysitting the other 50 minutes (sarcasm is definitely alive and well) four times in 7 hours, I am mentally and physically exhausted. Picking my kids up is the highlight of my day. Kinslee is always happy to see me, and that makes me happy. The car ride is full of either crying for something to drink, crying for books or toys, or reading and laughing and singing. I am going non-stop once I am at home. Cooking dinner, cleaning, dishes, and when you have a 16 month boy weighing 33 lbs, it gets hard to hold him every time he wants to be held! I'm also fitting in being a wife. lol. Baths are around 7 and then kids are getting to bed or in bed at 8. After that, more cleaning.
Now, that can sound depressing. Heck, if I read this in high school, I would never want to have kids. Believe it or not, I love it. It's a routine that I never get sick of. I love being mommy. I love being Mrs. Bell. I love my busy busy self.
I am ready for another awesome year!